The TimePass of India

Last sunday I met some of my oldies. I call them my oldies coz i have known them for more than 9 years now...And as it goes with old friends, it was great fun...

Some musings
*Powai doesnt have half the outlets tht Nirmals does!
*Powai still is a lot of fun
*Its fun with your old friends even when you have nothing to talk about and nowhere to go...
* Your friends know you too well to see through you when u are lying..
*You can talk bout anything to them
Arshat: Some guys make me wanna be a girl (@#$#! did I say tht out loud?)
Harish: whaaa?
Sandy: ewww..
(Yeah! I had said tht out loud..)
Arshat: er..well George clooney and John Stamos...
and my German boss (shit! did i hav to say his name!!)
Sandy: ewww..
*Well maybe you cant talk bout everything with them

*The problem with ppl who know you inside out is tht they judge you before hearing you out..

*Its bloody cold here! Sunday was the coldest day in the last 45 yrs in the history of mumbai! (10.2deg C is the recorded temp in Santacruz..Powai is colder..In Mulund its snowing...I have a tendency to exaggarate)..Take out the wollens ppl!

*Its fun when there r two guys and a girl! Coz when I say sumthing stupid, trust Harish to come up with something equally foolish.. Makes me look a lot better

*If there is a single girl among two guys she ll get special attention..(Ah! genius!)

*Mochas is absurdly costly!
Sandy : I will have the "cookie crumble"
Arshat: tereko cost patah hai? Rs.95!! (I can be quite a chindi if i want too)
Harish: I hope you know, ur cookie is gonna be this big(his fingers denoting the size of a 5 rupee coin)
We being the smart ones called for the- "Con panna" for Rs.40! Nice choice we thought..

When we got our orders we found the "Con panna" is called so for a reason. You see, its a CON! The size of the cup was smaller than the cups which come with the Barbie friends set!



(My female friends hav passed me on this info..I havent even touched Barbie till date..er..well..maybe once or twice..)

Sandy got her cookie crumble, the size of cream on which resembled the hills tht overlooked Powai..
Bloody Mochas..
Just to add, we mowed down half the hills from Sandy cup...Lifes so fair..

*There are many firangs roaming around in Powai..With not many hotels around, I wonder where they come from..

*All my friends have topped their respective trades sometime or the other...For eg - Harish topped school..Sandy topped the univ last yr... In most parts of the world having such friends would classify me as a loser but I can safely say they are not as geeky as their portfolios sound..

*If there is a single girl among two guys she ll get special attention (Did I mention tht already?)

*No matter how much u like the guy and how much you miss each other, u cant hug at the end of the day
Arshat: akward hug or cool guy handshake?
Harish: cool guy handshake for sure!
Stangely enough ask a girl this and you get a stare tht will make sunny deol pee in his pants


Its been a great 9 years with you guys...We have been through good and bad times together.. We might not hav a lot of time for each other more so as we get involved further with our respective careers and stuff... But I just want you guys to know, phone calls or no phone calls, mails or no mails, we will remain friends forever...
I hope I be there when Harish gets married and stuff (and stuff? :P).. I hope to be there when Sandy has a daughter(I m sure u gonna have a daughter...)
And hope we be there after our retirement and then we talk about all the fun we had when we were 20 over a cup of...er..."Con Panna"?? :) 2 guys, a girl and "Con Panna"

365 days
106 post
6500 visits

Yeah, its been an year since I started blogging... I remember how the blog-bug bit me...

I was searching for some Pu La Deshpandes audio mp3 for download, when I came across Gaurav Sabnis' blog....a COEP passout doing his MBA from IIM-L...I got fascinated by his writing and it was fun living his life at IIM through his blog (He blogged almost everyday)
As I read through his archives I came through the IIPM scandal. I dunno if u guys remember about this kid who through his blog had ransacked through IIPM's tall claims and stuff.. and there were articles in the newspapers...Well, Gaurav was tht kid!! Now dont be too enthu, the guy writes about politics and stuff now(hes writes like a grownup now) and tht somehow is not very interesting for me. Thts why you dont find him on my blogroll no more...

Anyways, thats when I decided to start my own blog. Here is my first post.

To be honest, I felt my obsession with blogging wont continue for more than 3 months or so... But god bless my ramblings about engineering and Mseb and mmrda tht I had something to write always !

There were times I used to wonder if my friends really liked my writings(or they read it at all)
But a few weeks of my absence on the blogosphere and all my friends would ask me if I was alright and why there were no posts of late!(Its weird how ppl can get addicted to gibberish)

I made a few blog friends too whose names you would find on my blogroll.. Thanks for the inspiration guys.

I am not a guy who is used to compliments, so it was kinda pleasant when ppl complimented me on my writings...Its sumthing tht keeps me going...Pls keep those coming :)

I so wanna thank everyone who visits this blog(God bless your soul) and posts their comments to make this a better place. But I cant include everyones names here coz its a long list(and I am sure most of you know who you are)... But wherever you guys are, I wanna say -

You could have been anywhere in the world but you chose here
Kinda unbelievable mate but its been a whole year...

So many days, so many thoughts gone by
Some yet to come, some yet to be tried...

You guys have been a lovely crowd
Thank you all for coming out...

I look at you guys, I take a bow
The posts ll just keep coming, stay glued to your seats now! First Anniversary

Part 1 of the "Hey Dog" trilogy.(Yeah, just like MATRIX!!)

Read the Part 1 -Hey Dog (The original dog!) here..
Read the Part 2 -Hey Dog (Dog's day out!) here..
Read the Part 3 - Hey Dog (The return of the wise one) here..
(No reference between the three, just like MATRIX!!)

Theres something I really love about my workplace. Its the lush green lawns, the gardens, the flowers in their full bloom..And I love the fact tht you have to walk along the gardens to reach the office from the campus gate...Its really lovely...It actually makes getting up early less miserable for me..

Nowadays a canine couple with pups in tow has made the garden its home...Now we dont allow anyone without an identification within the factory premises, but for these guys we made an exception...

I look at them enviously(you ll know why) every morning as I pass by the lawns to enter my office..
Its a family of 6..(or maybe 7)...There is one Daddy dog(sounds like some rapper no?)..one mother dog, and 4 or 5 pups(whtevr happened to family planning!)

This Daddy dog is kinda ugly, black and white in colour and looks kinda malnourished and limps a little... Mommy dog is all white and pretty(in a doggy kinda way).How on earth did a dog like him get such a pretty female to like him...The look like Mandira Bedi and her husband
would(who is he anyway?), if they ever went out together...

Anyways,
Some dogs have all the luck..
I mean, look at him, rolling in the grass all day, licking his..u know what...sniffing her..u know where..
Why? Why? Why did he get to all this fun((?)) stuff on a monday morning, while I sit at my desk and work all day!

I stopped by him(the dog)..I looked at him like Sunny Deol looks at people hes gonna pound with his dhai kilo ka haath.. He just looked away, like Sachin does, after hitting Shoaib for a six!

But there was no reason for me to be uncivilised..After all we were supposed to be best friends(Dog is mans best friend..Aaarrggh)...So I decided to go through a small chat..




Hey dog!

Hey dog!

Hey!!? Why did u call me dog for?

Bow-wow!..I thought we were doing tht rapper thingy...U know, where one rapper calls the other "nigga"....Btw, why did u get all mad when i called u dog?

Er..u see...we dont like being called dog...esp by a dog!

Hmm..i see..u humans are weird. I love being called dog..

Hmm..Is it fun being a dog?

Lemme see..I stay in a garden whose maintainance is done by ur company, and I dont work for ur company...And tht girl you losers have been eyeing for days now, stops by me to say-"How cute" everyday...so..i guess its fun being a dog...

Well,she says tht bout ur kids and not u...And I am not eyeing her, some of my friends are...and they are not losers..on second thoughts, maybe they are..

Hmm...u sound pretty cranky..Hows life?

Well mine is a dog's life..

GREAT!

Er..well..the word dog isnt taken in a good sense in our world...no offence..

Hmm..I see..So ur life is boring?

Kinda...I mean there nothing concrete tht i do..

Neither do I...

Thts why I said Its a dogs life!

You have any girlfriends?

No...Why?

I have lots! So ur is not a dogs life after all!

You have lot of girl friends? Shudnt you be calling them bitch-friends? bwhahaha

Hey! Watch ur tongue....

Er..Sorry! I didnt know u were so touchy about ur girls...Is your wife cool about it?

Yeah..kinda..

So, u dont have monogamy at your place?

I believe trust is more important than monogamy..

Man! u r too smart for a dog..

I know..I get tht a lot..

So...er..I dunno if I shud be asking you this..but how do u get the bitches to like u?

Oh..so u wanna get into the game...gonna get jiggy..gonna smack up some...

Will u pls stop tht!! Cut to the chase..

Er..bow wow!ok! ok! why r u so cranky! Well, if u hav to know - Its all in the sniffing!

Sniffing?

Yeah...ur first sniff is enough for her to know ur intentions..

Oh I see..I dunno why I asked a dog for advice! Monday blues I think..Dont u feel the blues on a monday morning?

No..er...Shudnt u be at work or something..I mean yours is a 8:45 shift, and its close to 9 now?

Yeah...I shud be...I shud get going..Was fun talking to you...

Same here..You cud have made a very good dog..

Thanks..er..i guess..



I turned around and started walking towards my office...Did I just talk to a dog for 15 mins! Guess I did..Man! I looked back..He was there, playing with two of his pups, the other three were still asleep cuddled next to their mommy, she licked them every once and again...It was a
pretty picture..

The ugly dog, didnt seem ugly anymore.. Hey dog!

She stood there...As pretty as ever..."Hi! Where are you?" Her voice sounded as sweet as it did 8 years ago. Thank god testosterone doesnt touch girls!
"I ll be there in a moment..", he said. He could see her from the first floor of the mall...She wore a white kurti and a pair of jeans.

They shook hands. She looked at him and smiled... Her smile could light up a thousand rooms. Its the kind of smile which makes you feel everythings fine and if its not, it will be...Her eyes were soft, her hair were long...she was shy, simple, elegant, girlie, pretty...She was the kind he dreamt of...The kind you wanna take home to your mother...The kind you read about in Novels but never meet in real life..He pinched himself a couple of times to check if this was a dream...It wasnt..

He had never acted this schoolboyish for any girl.. He came from work, took a shower, got rid of the stubble he was sporting from a couple of days and rushed to the mall to reach 15 mins before time. All this from a guy who doesnt even care to comb his hair and always reaches late when his friends call him..

They talked.. About movies and places and stuff.... She did the talking most of the time...He was amazed at how much this girl knew..He knew no other girl who could hold a conversation like her..."Shes so intelligent..so well read", he thought... And the innocence with which she puts up her point, leaves no scope for an argument.. His friends say that he argues a lot... If there was one girl he could never argue with, it would be her..
He did say some gibberish every now and then and She laughed at all his silly jokes...and it was nice to hear her laugh..she laughed like a 7 yr old would, with all her heart and with innocence brimming over..

He thought about the day when she told him that she ll be coming to India... He never thought she would wanna meet him too..And He never had the guts to ask her if she would...
But tonight he had been good..There werent many occasions when he was awkward.. He carried himself pretty well,he thought...

It was getting late and she had to get home..It had been more than 2 hours, it seemed like a lot less than that though...


"I have to get going.",she said.

"Oh..ok"

"Thanks for everything."

"Thanks...Thank you...", he said..

"Bye!"

Time stood still...

She smiled..

And everything was fine.......


____________________________________________________


Kinda abrupt ending, no? But I dunno wht happens next, so I guess you guys will have to do with it... Plus this is my first attempt to write something in this genre so pls dont make fun of my writing ...
Everythings fine.....

Crimson Lights..Oh so few,
Mumbai has a lot more, but this feels new...
Long flights bore me, but not today..
Fulltoo enthu I am, as my craft lands on the runway..
Cold mornings, Lazy afternoons wait along...
Home away from home, here I come.

I got to visit Nagpur this weekend. There was a wedding in the family. I reached Nagpur airport on Friday night 3 hrs late than scheduled!

I thought of these lines(calling it a poem would be like calling Sunny Deol a Pole dancer) when I was looking down the window of my Business class seat.. And the mention of the Business class is to..er..well..brag :P

I have been working(?) for the past 5 months and I needed a break big time...
So how was my trip? Well amazing and hectic!
2 days of my stay there involved a lot of travelling... We(my parents and me) had to rush to Wardha* as soon as we landed at Nagpur.
We reached there after the guests had left...The groom was slightly miffed..but wht to do! All the flights were late tht day!
(*Wardha is 75 kms from Nagpur. Wardha is known for Sewagram where Gandhiji spent a lot of time.)

I love the winters...esp when I dont have to get up early. So its fun when u get to visit some place coz then u can stay late in bed.


One of my friends who stays in the US once told me that she would find it difficult to stay in Mulund, coz she had grown up to the idea of living in a small town... Now I can decipher what she meant by tht... I mean, life here is so cool.. 9 am isnt rush hour,its just morning ... 5 pm isnt the time to drive into a traffic jam , its time to go home... No one seems to wanna get anywhere here. Life assumes a natural pace here.

Homes here are like they shud be...with a small lawn and a porch in front of the house... and a Bajaj Chetak or a Hero Honda splendor parked in the porch.And most of them have a terrace, from where u could see kids playing cricket (and blatantly twisting the rules in the favour of the kid who owns the bat and the stumps).
If you have time, which in all likelihood you do when you r in a small town, you can enjoy watching the sun set and wonder where does it go at night.. If you still manage to bore yourself, you can read the Marathi dailies tht u thought never existed. Or you could also watch Doordarshan and reminisce of the good old times when we didnt have a choice and waited an entire week for the Saturday night movie. I would be amazed if anyone says that they can watch an entire movie on TV nowadays..


One more thing I like love about my native is the kind of food you get... I mean, its not very rich or anything, but it tastes very different from the stuff we get here in Mumbai. Plus when you r touring your native, like I was, there r no fixed eating times. That means, every time is eating time. My mom, a doctor by profession, obviously doesnt approve of such a haphazard eating schedule, but wht to do...when u r driving from ur dad's friends place to ur aunt's place, u
have to go by their schedules...

Afternoons here are so lazy... You lay back in your chair and wonder why the sky's so blue...why is the grass so green...and why is it so cold outside at 3 in the afternoon..why is it tht I dont lie down like this more often..Why cant life be this simple...Why do I have to leave for mumbai tomorrow...Would I wanna stay here all my life...Is this how it feels when you are home? Am I home? Is this home..?



Crimson lights, they so many..
Aint I supposed to like tht? I find it so funny...
Phils and Philosophies I leave for another day..
I am now coming back home, my craft lands on the runway..
Cold mornings, Lazy afternoons long gone..
Ladies and gentlemen, I am back home... Nagpur-Wardha-Nagpur-Mumbai

If there's no drama and negativity in my life, all my songs will be really boring or something...
-Eminem


Its weird what ppl do when they are pushed...Like in engg in Mumbai university. I wont say engineering in Mumbai univ is more difficult than other universities. But there are many associated factors which make it difficult. Take for instance, travelling. 4 hrs of travelling to college is not a regular affair in every city. But in Mumbai its what most Tom, Dick and Patils do... There are many other distractions tht a city like Mumbai wud offer, but lets not go there...

My point is, we (engg students) tend to make our lives difficult by erratic planning and idiotic schedules... Our Professors dont help our case much...They screw us with even more erratic planning of their own... So u may have to complete 4 assignments in one day or complete two practicals in 2 hours with the readings and all....

Its weird what ppl do when they are pushed... Some of them fall...Others look for support... Some fall in love (which is not even love, subject of another post) , some take up nicotine, some alcohol and some others find solace in music...

Now this isnt the music they used to listen to as kids... This music is different...

The genre of music they listen to depends on wht engg they are doing, i mean the field they are specializing in and wht college r they doing it from...And obviously, it also depends on how f**ked up their life is..

If u r from a college in Western suburbs like Andheri, Bandra etc.(read SP{my college}, Tsec, Fr Agnel) there is a fair chance u wud like to listen to hard rock... The lower your grades, the harder your rock!

If u r from a college in Central suburbs, like Matunga, Vidyavihar etc.(read VJTI, Somaiya) u wud luv to listen to soft rock sumthin like Linkin Park..(provided u r able to keep up ur grades)

If u r from Navi mumbai college(read...well, there are about 20 coll here..), u wud probably listen to songs like summer of 69 and stuff..
Maybe when the grades decline they will shift to meaner stuff but its usually doesnt go beyond "Nothing else matters"..

If u r from Thane (read Johndale, Parshwanath etc.), there is a fair chance u like Himesh!

Well, most ppl reading this blog (u guys really read my blog?) know I am different! So I obviously wont fall into any of the above categories... Some of my friends listened to rock, but i didnt understand all the noise and the head banging... Plus I dont wanna end up with spondylitis when I grow old!

My cousin, Aroop intoduced me to rap when i was in 12th...the first song i heard was Eminem's "Lose your self"... I loved it when I first heard it, but the words didnt stick...

I guess it was in the 1st year of engg when Eminem's tracks started to sound interesting... I got hooked on to Dr. Dre, Snoop dogg, 50 cents and later Jay Z....
Most of Eminem's songs made sense...somehow u could relate to them...Back then I had written some lines myself.. Tell u what, Rap comes out much better if u r very screwed or very elated! Since I was normal(relatively :)) my poetry sucked!

It still sucks! The other day I was sitting in office thinking about the electricity crisis in Western Maharashtra and the water crisis in eastern Tamil Nadu... a song struck me...Jay Z's "99 problems"

I was humming it (coz singing is not allowed in office, plus the song has objectionable lyrics) and checking my mails(This was after I was done thinking about Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and Alyssa Milano..er...i hav no idea why i mentioned her...)

I came across this mail...Its a story... Its in Hindi..Pls try and understand...
The English translation is given below anyway..

Pls click on the image to get a clearer view...




The (crude) English translation is -

Raju's father bought a Robot which could detect people lying... The robot wud slap anyone who lied...
One day Raju came late from school and when asked he lied about having extra classes..
The Robot slapped him. His dad(Raju's... not the robot's) asked him wht he really did... Raju told him about this mythological movie "Hanuman" he saw... The Robot slapped him again!
On being interrogated further, he told his father the truth about watching an erotic movie called "Katil Jawani"
Raju's dad got angry. He told Raju how when he was Raju's age he was all sincere and stuff... The robot slaps the father this time!- Implying tht this time he was lying...
Raju's mom now intervened saying tht since he was Raju's dad, Raju was bound to lie like him..
Hearing this the Robot slaps the mother, implying tht Raju's dad is not his real dad!
I hope u get this story...

Now read this…Same story in English!

To be sung on the tune of 99 problems –Jay Z (well, atleast some parts)

Once upon a time not a long ago,

Raju's dad brought a Roboto!

This Robot wasnt crude, get tht dude..

He slapped anyone who didnt say the truth...

Once Raju came late to home...

“U going out with ur Girlfriends son?”

“Er...no! Poppy u got it all wrong,

I got late coz i was studying, man I was on a song!

I cant help it if I get late,

I aint dating noone - Ashley, Mary or Kate..”

Hearing this the robot got activated,

He slapped Raju on his cheek,it knew he had dated!

“U lying boy, my robo knows,

When I was ur age son, I had no doves!”

The robo slapped the popa next,

I guess it liked this one best..

Moma now intervened,

Two slaps now it had been..

“Raju is ur son, him to lie we expect...

U got slapped in front of ur son, u lost all respect..

Like the father the son tends..”

The robo slapped the moma next, this is how the story ends!

I know..I know..its amatuerish but its an attempt...And I wrote it in my office..among the chaos..among designs and printouts and within the sight range of the German who sits right behind me...Hes pretty cool anyways, but hes not well versed with the art of rap, so..wht a waste..

I wasnt too elated or too screwed while writing this poem so considering all tht i guess it came out pretty well! :P

I got 99 problems....

I know everything except what women want!
-Anon

I am never gonna understand Women..er..Girls. Its girls till I get 32 or get married (whichever comes last!)

Now mankind (I mean the manly kind) has never been able to understand the womankind(is tht a word?). The other day I had coffee with one my sweetest female friends. The topic shifted to girls which is probably the only interesting topic we cud talk bout.

Me being a mech engg. have lost complete touch with the womankind. The girls in Engg werent my type so never really pursued any... The girls tht usually make it in engg are the tomboyish types while I like more of the girlie types and no, girlie doesnt necessarily mean those girls who spend hours in front of the mirror... My interpretition of girlie girls is tht they are simple, smart and shy...
Now dont judge me! (Btw, googling - simple, smart and shy shows 1,900,000 results. One question - Where the heck are they!?@#)

Back to the topic - So we were talkin bout why mech engineers suck at making female friends and it turns out tht its coz we dont understand girls...

Heres the conversation:-

Me: So u saying I dont understand girls?
She: Well dumbo, I feel u dont get it! You dont call ur girls, dont send them flowers...u dont even remember their Bdays!!!
Me: Oye? Girls expect me to call everyday?
She: Yes, donko! 10 times a day!
Me: But wudnt I be disturbing her if I call her 10 times a day?
She: Nope...We love it!
Me: U crazy!
She: (giggles) No, u crazy!


I dont get it!! I get disturbed even when my Mom calls me when I am in my office. Plus how am I supposed to express my feelings? ...We men! We hunt! We fight! We drink directly from the carton! We DONT express our feelings...Asking us to express our feelings is like asking Shoaib Akhtar to bowl leg-spin!

One wonders, if God made hormones (Ignoring wht Charles Darwin preaches) why didnt he put in the same ones in both guys and girls? I guess thts coz he knew opposites attract.

Maybe opposites do attract. So does tht make me - complicated, foolish and bold!?
Er..I dont think so...

Theres another twist...
I always thought these qualities tht I find attractive were necessarily physical (no, not sexual...physical..Theres a difference!!)
But in the last few weeks I have found tht its not all physical...

There is this girl, who was a yr junior to me in my school. She was a mixture of all the said qualities and more...She was all sweet and giggly and schoolgirlish... And obviously I did like her...But at 15, u dont try and analyze why u like sumone...

Now shes settled outside the country, and we chat almost everyday. Chattin is the next best thing to talkin... You can get to know a lot bout the person, how he/she would react to a situation, her wit, sense of humour etc. etc. And man, isnt she amazing!

The point here is , its been ages since we met in 3-D, but I still like her. There is a fair chance tht my brain still interprets her as a giggly girl who wore braces as a kid and maybe it(my brain) is surprised at the amount of maturity and wit she has... Maybe thts one of the reasons I like her so much...

So u see? My brain can solve calculus and mechanics but it is as lost as Schumacher in Mumbai traffic when it comes to feelings...
Its like tht movie - I,Robot in which the robot saves Will Smith and not the little girl coz it calculates tht Will has a 42% chance of survival and the girl has only a 12% chance. It lets her die.

12% wasnt less...

Only if we were hardwired better


Me: Ok, So you mean, I shud send her flowers and choclates? Tht sounds so High-Schoolish. Actually it is outright foolish!
She: Be as practical as u want with the outside world... But with a girl u gotta be foolish...
Me: Foolish?!
She: Yes donko!
Me: U crazy
She:(giggles) No, u crazy! Girls!! Will I ever understand them!